Where Do You Live and Why?

(This is the second article in a series.)

As the mother of an autistic teen who is starting their junior year in high school I am concerned about college.  I have lots of questions, as do many other parents.  I want to know about everything from what supports are available to where she should live and how in the world is she going to keep track of everything.

In an effort to get information from autistic college students I published a short 6 question survey in June of 2015.  I received over 50 responses to the survey and am sharing the information in this series of articles.

If you are interested in learning about accommodations and supports please read the first article in the series.

This article will discuss the answers to the second question from the survey:

Where do you live and why?

I suggested options such as home, dorm or apartment to help participants understand what information I was trying to get at. When I reviewed the responses I was surprised to see that where students lived was pretty evenly distributed between the dorm, an apartment and at home with their family. 

Dorms

Advice varied by individual.  Those who lived in the dorms had comment such as:

• "I lived in a single dorm. I was not at all able to maintain my space, I avoided the cafeteria due to noise."
• "Dorm, to be around people"
• "Dorm, because I like being in a community."
• "Dorm, because it's the cheapest and easiest option."
• "I lived in a dorm my first year with my own private bedroom and a living space and bathroom shared with 3 other girls. That worked fine for me. But the change in environment each year was really stressful for me."  

Do you want a PDF download of all of the responses? Click here.

For many choosing a dorm was the only option as the school requires freshman and sophomore students to live in dorms. Other students said that it was the most economical.

Another survey participant stated:

 "Living on campus was by far the best living arrangement I've ever had - having a meal plan and dining halls I could walk to easily alleviated the single biggest executive functioning problem I have, which is obtaining food."

It is important to remember that living in a dorm does not guarantee social interaction as this student says,

 "I tried living in the dorm but I experienced a really severe depressive period and isolated myself."

The social expectations of interacting with others students in public areas was another reason some students chose to live at home or in their own apartment. They needed some down time to relax and not feel like they needed to live up to others social expectations.

Apartment Living

Students who choose to live off campus have a variety of reasons for choosing that option:

• "I had trouble getting along with roommates and it was much easier and less stressful to live by myself."
• "It was cheaper."
• "I have my own room here."
• "I am married."
• "I can't stand being around people all of the time and I'm always surrounded by clutter so living with a roommate would end badly."
• "I can stay there for the remainder of my college education without having to move every year. (very stressful and time consuming.)"

Students who chose to live in apartments were often older and had tried other arrangements unsuccessfully. These students mentioned

• ·        Needing personal space to recharge
• ·        Problems with noise and sensory issues in dorms
• ·        Problems needing to interact with roommates

However they also mentioned that living in an apartment has its own difficulties.  The number one issue was the added responsibility of food.  Not just fixing their own meals, but shopping for the food was an added strain to their executive function skills.

Students who live at home don't have this issue.

Home

Many students who live at home responded that cost was the primary reason. They are unable to afford to live in an apartment or dorm. However there were also several secondary reasons:

• "It gives me the comfort of a stable environment."
• "I have family here who can help me construct the structure that I need in order to be successful."
• "Aside from practical reasons, I can be my real self and charge my social battery."
• "I couldn't cope with planning life at the same time. Home is safe."

There were also several students who live at home that planned to try another option in the next year. They wanted more independence.

Recommendations

Choosing the right housing for students depends on their needs.  There are several questions to ask:

1. What kind of dorm room is available? Singles, bedroom with shared common space or shared studio space are all common
2. Will they need time away from others to recharge themselves?
3.  Will they isolate themselves to avoid people and difficult situations? A single dorm room may not be the right option.
4.  Will they benefit from support from the family? Executive function such as prioritization, planning and scheduling may be too difficult for some students without some support.
5. Is a food program available for students who don't live in the dorm? This can make apartment living far easier.
6. Will changing locations each year be too stressful? Moving into and out of a dorm each year can cause a lot of stress and may need to be avoided.
7. What are their sensory needs? Will noisy neighbors or weird food smells cause a problem?
8. Can they live with someone they know and who knows them?

There are many colleges that require students to live in the dorm at least for their freshman year. If this is the case it is important to understand the environment and be ready to provide solutions.

• ·        Sound cancelling headphones
• ·        White noise machines
• ·        Comfort items from home such as bedding, seating or even food
• ·        Alternative lighting in lamps
• ·        Whiteboard to help keep track of schedules
• ·        Regular care packages filled with personal hygiene products so they don't run out
• ·        Regular visits to help with laundry and cleaning their room as needed

As a parent it is important to ask first of course, but you know your child better than anyone. If you see them becoming overwhelmed it can be helpful to support them with taking care of small tasks so they don't have to until they are feeling more in control.

Ultimately if a specific living arrangement isn't working, there is the option to make changes as needed and try again.

The next article in this series will discuss the strategies students use to keep track of classes and assignments.

Do you want to see all of the responses?  Click below.

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